The Rock, Conway's Community Church

Categorized | Culture, Ramblings

Things I’ll Ask in Heaven

How many times have you heard somebody say, “When I get to Heaven, here’s the first thing I’m going to ask God …”? I don’t think there will be any of that. Heaven isn’t about getting our curiosity satisfied.  Heaven isn’t about personal mansions, or personal bliss, or even reunions with loved ones.  Heaven is about Jesus. The heavenliest thing about Heaven is Jesus.  His glory will eternally illuminate the whole place (Rev. 21:23). I personally believe we’ll be SO blown away by the glory of Jesus that NO question will distract us from that magnificence for all of eternity.

Having said that, however, I would like to ask a few. Since I likely won’t even care then, I’ll ask them now:

  • Was it really necessary to preserve gnats? Mosquitoes? People who drive slowly in the passing lane?
  • Cats really are evil, aren’t they?
  • Can you explain the predestination / free will thing?
  • How old, exactly, IS the creation?
  • Did a witch really raise the spirit of Samuel?
  • What kind of nation would be have been if the South had won the War of Northern Aggression?
  • What tipped the scales at ballgames when Christians on both teams (and fan bases) prayed for a win?
  • What was the rationale behind rarely if EVER putting ovaries and clock management skillz in the same humans?
  • Did you even care, at all, about worship “style?”
  • How about coat ‘n tie vs. casual?
  • When you defended that woman who was caught in adultery, and you stooped down to write something in the dirt, what did you write?
  • Could You have put the cholesterol in the yuck food instead of the steaks and burgers?
  • Were you ever actually “teaching me something” when I was behind slow drivers in the passing lane?
  • What was up with Ted Haggard?
  • Did Billy Graham ever cuss?
  • Which denomination got it right? OK, closest to right? OK, sort of closest?
  • How many U.S. presidents were actual Christians? Oh, true, I’ll just look around Heaven. Shoulda thought of that. My bad.
  • You thought TBN was uber-tacky too, didn’t you? Please please please say YES.
  • What is THAT guy doing up here?
  • Where was the dividing line between permissible irreverent humor and sacrilege? (Holding my breath … if you can do that in Heaven)
  • Was the internet a net gain, or loss – spiritually speaking?
  • What was Your own personal favorite “nature scene?” Seascape or mountains? Niagra Falls or desert sunset?
  • What exactly happened between the crucifixion and resurrection?
  • How many times did You personally step in and save me from dying?
  • What were some miracles in my life that I was too worldly-minded to see at the time?

That’s a start. What did I leave out?


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